Here at the web’s most trusted, unbought cannabis review website, we have reviewed a mighty pile o’ edibles. Whoo-wee, we have chewed our way though a mountain of gummies! Besides that, we’ve reviewed cannabis-infused cookies, brownies, beverages, and more. While the quality and results may vary from brand to brand and reviewer to reviewer, one fact has emerged as abundantly clear: Edibles are the ideal in convenient cannabis dosing.

In my “comparison of cannabis consumption mediums,” I described some of the reasons why edibles are such a popular method of cannabis consumption. Compared to smoking, vaping, or dabbing marijuana extracts, edibles have all these advantages:

  • * Consistent dosing
  • * Reliable effects
  • * No clean-up
  • * No smell
  • * No trace
  • * Nobody needs to know but you

Now we’re not out here to twist your arm about this; cannabis edibles aren’t everyone’s bag, and some people’s systems just do not play nice with edibles. But we’re seeing enough popularity out there that a lifestyle trend is bound to emerge.

Gummyvore is Goblincore but with edible weed gummies

So we find ourselves with one of those cozy lifestyle fads of the 21st century, the Gummyvore. The daily cannabis edible user. As mellow and broken-in as a jean jacket at a music festival. Their gummy bottles and pouches are right next to their home espresso machine. Every day, they are on a mental Carnival Cruise Line tour, coasting along at a steady 150MG THC all day and all night. They never get silly-stoned, but they also never leave the mellow zone.

Easy-come, easy-go, don’t sweat the small stuff, that’s the Gummyvore attitude. Unhurried but deliberate, a smile never far from their lips, the Gummyvore views life from behind pot-colored shades and a tone that suggests they haven’t experienced a moment’s stress in years. While the rest of us sufferers in purgatory toss and turn and drench the sheets in our guilt-ridden sweat, Gummyvores are out there sleeping like angels on a bed of clouds.

Doesn’t that sound fantastic? I have found this path to hemp-mediated enlightenment, and I will share some tips I’ve learned along the way. For those of you who have likewise been drawn to the seductive lure of unobtrusive cannabis consumption, seek ye the way of ganja nirvana.

Fastest hit = empty stomach + coffee

We all know the standard rule of thumb for timing the effects of edibles: One hour. I actually find that if I take edibles right after a full meal, they might not even kick in for an hour and a half. However, practicing the opposite speeds things along if you’d rather not have the first hour of your morning be waiting for the kick-in. Taking edibles on an empty stomach along with my morning coffee, I’ve found that edibles will kick in after 30 minutes, and sometimes as short as 20 minutes.

Caffeine, of course, helps to speed your metabolism a notch. The oils in the coffee (I am that nerd with a home espresso machine and a bean grinder) also help your body absorb THC more effectively since THC and all cannabinoids are oil-soluble. Which brings us to our next tip:

Take edibles with fats or oil to help them work

Any edible oil or fatty food works here: Olive oil, hot cocoa, tinned sardines, butter, coconut milk (which is actually an oil). Note that the oil doesn’t need to be the THC (or whatever altcan) medium itself. You can take, say, a tincture of CBD oil along with a couple THC gummies, for a well-rounded effect. Or have a couple slices buttered toast, or even avocado toast (no no no don’t get me started) since avocado’s fats are compatible with cannabinoids.

There’s whole lists of foods that enhance the cannabis experience, due to terpene synchronicity. Mangoes and broccoli are two you will see mentioned, for myrcene and caryophyllene, respectively. Do what you will, some of these work alright, but the best source for terpenes is cannabis itself. So to the nest tip:

Full Spectrum makes a big difference

I munched through many, many a gummy before I tried my first full spectrum one. Most gummies out there take synthetically-extracted delta 8 or whatever and inject it into an otherwise innocent gummy. These leave me feeling dosed alright, but it feels like a clinical prescription that’s meant to emulate the effects of cannabis but not quite.

But when a live resin or full spectrum edible kicks in, it feels exactly like you just ripped a huge bongload! You will be amazed that you don’t look stoned and your clothes don’t have to pass the sniff test before you go to the store. The entourage effect, we now know, is simply a matter of all the terpenes, essential oils, and other organic compounds that come with the cannabinoid. It’s the difference between distilled water and drinking water.

Altcans work almost like THC

Because of the way edibles work, your liver has to function before you feel any effects from an edible. When the cannabis edible reaches this step of your digestive system, your liver takes THC and converts it into 11-Hydroxy-THC, which can cross the blood barrier and let your body absorb the active ingredients. Here’s the trick: Your liver does the same thing with delta 8 THC, and delta 10, and THCA, and so on for a list.

However, cannabinoids like CBD, CBN, and the minor ones metabolize differently. The jury is split on HHC (HHC will split any jury on any question, it’s the damn joker of cannabinoids). But bottom line, at least for the commonly-found delta 8, delta 8 edibles feel so much like D9THC edibles at higher dosages that there’s nearly no difference.

The best therapeutic method of cannabis consumption

Edibles are a godsend to those living in circumstances where they’d rather not announce to the whole wide world that they use pot. You have to be careful where and in whose sight you smoke, vape, or dab, but you can carry a bag of cannabis gummies and eat them in public; nobody would care until they got close enough to read the label.

For medical users, and those who just use cannabis as a therapeutic aid, edibles are ideal because they are a consistent dosage that’s easy to measure out to your needs. There’s also a wide variety already tailored to a number of customized effects: CBD formulas for fighting pain, CBD/CNN/CBG combos for sleep aid and stress relief, on up to the major arcana cannabinoids that get a proper buzz going. Finally, when you dose cannabinoids, you are assured the full dose; compare to smoking a bong hit where not all the smoke gets inhaled.

Final tips for cannabis edible nirvana:

  • * DO check the labels and dosage, and oh so assuredly DO check the lab sheets
  • * Cannabis edibles have a shelf life too, around a year or so before they lose effect
  • * Manage your tolerance if you depend on a certain daily dosage to function
  • * Mix and match for blended effects
  • * If edibles never work for you, you’re one of the unlucky with a liver that processes them weird
  • * Watch your blood pressure, because cannabis does raise it

Hope these tips helped any budding Gummyvores out there. Share your cannabis edible experiences here in the comments or in our chill forum.


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